Dear Valued Company,
Our records show that you overpriced me for a phone line I never used, only so my ISP can service me with a DSL line.
For a brief three years you sold me a service I never wanted or used, but kept your distance and only reminded me, once a month, via e-mail, of the pending bill due date. For that, I am thankful.
Ever since we parted ways – amicably, or so I thought – you started stalking me. First the $13.95 bill for a service I just cancelled. Then the $-13.95 credit bill. Then the $0 bill that brought balance to our relationship. Then a reminder that my account has been cancelled. Then a reminder I once had an account. Now a reminder I can no longer login to my cancelled acount.
Should you choose to get a life and start billing other people, I would be most greatful.
Thank you for that brief and unsatisfying relationship.
Sincerely,
Me